Just Friends

Probably everyone has heard the term friend zone- even they don't know the word, it seems that everyone is familiar in the concept. Friend zoned is the term given for those guys who are treated as a friend or a younger brother despite of their obvious affection on woman that they want. It seems like it is a terrible curse to obtain that pathetic title, "Mr. Friend Zoned ".

      Recently, it become a vibrant and meme word in many communities in the world wide web.  As I Browse and observe around, I figured out that this term is more commonly used by men. I took some time formulating a hypothesis on what's the reason behind.

I was looking for an answer when I found the article " The Truth Behind the Friend Zone". Dr. April Bleske-Rechek, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin, published her findings in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships after inviting students to come to her lab with a friend of the opposite sex and answer questions about each other. The questions asked them about how attractive they found their friend, whether they would consider dating their friend and also how attracted they felt their friend was to him (or her).

First they discovered that the guys were all attracted to their female friends more than the women were attracted to them. This is consistent with the portrayals we see in the media – think Friends and Ross being more attracted to Rachel than she was to him and Jacob’s attraction to Bella in Twilight. Interestingly, both men and women were more attracted to their friend when they thought their friend was attracted to them – but it would appear that hardly any men think: ‘Wow! I bet she’d be a great person to just hang out with’ as women have always suspected.

They also discovered that the men’s attraction to their female friends didn’t change with relationship status – either his or theirs. But for the women, if their male friend was in a relationship they found him less attractive and when in a relationship themselves, all women were significantly less interested in the prospect of dating their ‘friend’.

The last part of the findings are perhaps the most significant of all. It was discovered that men consistently over-estimated their female friend’s attraction and desire to possibly date them while the women consistently underestimated their male friend’s attraction to them but accurately gauged their desire to date them! So, if you’re a woman in the Friend Zone your ‘vibe’ about whether your male friend wants to date you or not is probably correct. If you’re not in a relationship you could do worse than a quick inventory of your single male friends because it’s likely they consider you attractive and want to date you. Remember the study showed women consistently underestimate how attractive their male friends find them. Guys, your female friends most likely just want to be friends. End of story.     

One problem regarding this matter is that males overestimated female friend’s interest , while females underestimated their male friend’s attraction but accurately gauged the male friend’s desire to date them. Most guys ended up stuck in friend zone because most of the time, they prospect their female friends as a dating partner which women doesn't have in mind. This is a serious problem. That could be the reason why many men has trapped in such platonic relationship. For the reason that, They are very assuming. 

Height: It Does Matter

    In my eighteen years of existence, I observed that men are taller than women in most couples. In fact when you look at the couples around you, same scenario would be seen. It is really interesting how woman use height as a preference on looking for their mates. What is the reason woman prefer taller man? Is it just as simple as taller is better?

   As I had saw in Wikipedia, Recent studies have shown that heterosexual women often prefer men taller than they are, rather than a man with above average height. While women usually desire men to be at least the same height as themselves or taller, several other factors also determine male attractiveness, and the male-taller norm is not universal. Professor Adam Eyre-Walker, from the University of Sussex, has stated that there is, as yet, no evidence that these preferences are evolutionary preferences, as opposed to merely cultural preferences. In a double-blind study by Graziano et al., it was found that, in person, using a sample of women of normal size, they were on average most attracted to men who were of medium height (5'9"- 5'11") and less attracted to both men of shorter height (5'5"- 5'7") and men of tallest height (6'2"- 6'4").

   I was studying on woman's height preference when I came across an article called, " Why Do Women All Seem to Want Taller Men? " Erina Lee mentioned in his article that men are being taller on average than woman. From these we might expect that most women end up with taller men just by chance. However, Erina said that researcher found that of the 720 couples in their study, only one was comprised of a taller woman and a shorter man (Gillis & Avis, 1980).  This was a far smaller percentage than expected by chance, showing that there is some selective preference for taller men.  

   I agree with Erina when she said that Culture also plays a big part in what we like and what is valued in society.Women may learn to value men who are rewarded in society.  For example, taller men may be seen as more powerful and attractive, so women who are with taller men benefit by attaining a higher social status.  In addition, if height signals physical dominance, it is likely that taller men make women feel smaller, protected, and perhaps more “feminine” as well.  In line with this idea, research has found that women with more “traditional” gender role expectations were less willing to date shorter men.

    Erina also noted that height is a “masculine” characteristic.  Taller men may be seen as more dominant and assertive (Melamed, 1992).  In evolutionary terms, a larger man may have been able to provide more protection to their offspring, have greater genetic qualities to pass on to their future children, and thus may be awarded with greater social status.  

  In general, women are attracted to taller men because of the stereotype established by the society. They preferred men taller than them to become more pleasing to the eye of the society.  In the other hand, most woman feel that they were more protected in the arms of taller man. To sum it all, woman prefer a man where she could be proud of and a man who could able to give her protection.

Ovulation Period Affects Woman's Preferences

     Woman's behavior are not easy to decipher. They are very unpredictable especially on those times that they have their monthly visit; It's kind a weird. It made me really difficult to understand what they want. They are like typical mothers who are very moody those days. Sometimes, they're more patient but most of the time they're quick tempered during their ovulation period.

    For those of you who are unaware, a normal menstrual cycle lasts for about 28 days. Ovulation begins in the middle of this cycle, usually about 14 days after menstruation, and lasts until the beginning of the next menstruation.

    As I continued searching about this matter, I came across an article called "Ovulation Changes Women's Behavior". According to Emily Sohn,studies began to show that in the days before ovulation women start to become more attracted to men who have deeper voices and more chiseled, masculine and symmetrical faces. According to some studies, that may be because men who look like George Clooney are more likely to have dominant social roles, better genes and stronger immune systems. 

    Female preferences for male traits fluctuate according to the menstrual cycle. These traits include masculine facial structure, facial skin color, body odors, and voice pitch . Furthermore, female preferences in male behavior, such as social dominance, also fluctuate according to the researches of Steven W. Gangestad. These studies find that women prefer masculine men at their periods of peak fertility during their menstrual cycles.

    Their are several ways to determine whether women are in ovulating period. In one study, scientists have found that ovulating women sway their hips more while walking, though they hold their upper bodies in a more defensive position. Fertile women also show more skin, and they are more interested in going to social gatherings.    

    In addition to changes in looks and smells, Bryant and colleagues have measured a subtle but detectable shift upwards in the pitch of a woman's voice when she's approaching ovulation. Her voice reaches its highest pitch on the day before and the day of the egg's release. Now, he's trying to figure out if a higher pitched voice is indeed more attractive to men.

    Ovulation changes the woman's behavior and kind of men she attracted to. According to researcher, their preferences towards dating men changes during this period. So, knowing how ovulation affects woman could help you depict their behavior. You should be aware of this period to understand their preferences in man deeply.