Sexual Economy

   During the ancient times, barter system was the trading system used by people to exchange their goods for other goods. During that time, goods has no fixed tag price yet because money was not yet invented. So they had set a certain value in every of their products and exchanged it for other products with the same cost.

  Across the centuries this system was also adopted not only in economical aspects of their lives but also in finding a woman to marry with. A dowry was given to the parents of the woman in exchange for her hand. When a man could give enough dowry, it means that he all ready for marriage and he could be a great provider to her family.

   I was surfing the internet when I came across an article entitled "Economy of sex: It’s cheap these days", and there I had found that those systems are still existing  today. Adam Smith and Dr. Ruth also said that there is an economy underlying about sex. It seems strange but it is really amazing how people do that. Sex and relationship is some how an exchange. They give each other something of themselves.

   From the basic concept tradition and modern way of Filipino courting, a man is giving or doing something for woman. This is because he wants to get the affection of the lady. This explains how sexual economy works. In order to enter a relationship, exchanges takes place. This is one of the factor  that would affect woman attention.

   Whether you believe it or not, women choose partner based on what they could offer to them. Just take a minute to think, who is the one that women will choose? A handsome guy which is as poor as rat or a not so handsome guy that could give her everything that she wants.

The Age Adversity

       Getting older also means getting wiser when it comes to dating. It is true between men and women. In fact, your preferences and taste for opposite sex is different when you were still a teenager. The standards in looking for mates starts to arise as you grow older. Who thought that age is just a number and has no bearing on dating choice? 

     Your preferences might change depending on your stage or situation in life.  People seek different things at different points in life. I was surfing the internet when i came a cross an article called " Does age influence our dating choices?" Melissa D'costa told that there was a study, conducted by a matchmaking website, reveals that as women become more mature, their preferences and taste in men change.  

     Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria says the findings of the study are true not only for women, but men, too. She says, "What we want from a relationship when we are 16 may depend on peer pressure, hormones, ego-boost, etc. But at 25, relationships may depend more on a person's social and emotional needs. As you grow older, a relationship may depend on how much emotional, mental and financial support it gives you. This change, in my observation, is present regardless of a person's gender."

     Psychologist Mansi Hasan agrees. She says, "At 20, one may want to look cool in front of friends by having a boyfriend who is everybody's blue-eyed boy. But at 30, a woman needs a man who can take care of her and handle the responsibility of a family. At that stage, she seeks stability and security, because she is ready to start a family. Looks may no longer be a priority. In their 40's and 50's, women not only want a husband, but also a friend and companion who fulfils her in more than one way. Even men go through these changes. However, for them, physical attraction is as significant an aspect as emotional compatibility when it comes to long-lasting relationships."

    Your age is really a factor in finding a partner. As time passes by, your preferences changes. But still, there is one requirements that does not change among ages- as most women says " my main requirement is someone that made me feel special." No matter how young or old women are, they still want to be loved in any circumstances.      

         

It Takes a Life Time

       Women are really difficult to decipher. They are like different person from time to time. Most of them changes their mood easily especially on those days of their monthly visit. I still remember my high school seatmate that knocked me out because she got irritated with me. That was so damn. I didn't do anything to her but she just hit me with a thick book. That was freaking weird. But let us not assume that all women are like that.

        We all know that each women are relative with each other. However, there are common denominators that each of them posses. I was looking for a blog when I came a across an article entitled " 5 Universal facts about Women". Ross mentioned that it takes a life time to understand woman completely. However, he enumerated some of the facts that would help you understand women more. Here are the following:   


     Women like Security

       What women is always looking for is security. As Ross said, the truth 
       remains that no matter how ugly, fat, or stupid you are , if you own a 
       house in real estate drive a BMW to work, and make loads of money as 
       an Executive CEO, you best believe that women will be leaping into your 
       arms to take them home. Look at King Henry VIII, he's the equivalent of 
       Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers series, and yet he was able to score 
       with seven women because of why? Security.
 
      Women Want Attention

          Women merely needs attention. They always want to be praise or be 

        appreciated by their man. This is a fact that most man overlooked. A 

        simple complement would mean a a lot to her. Women doesn't really 

        need a plenty of time with you. Just a simple attention will do.

      Women like Confidence

      

        Women are really "hard wired to confidence". Ross agreed that this still 

        stands true in the human race, because whenever there's an asshole or  

        a douchebag who thinks he's top dog, there are bound to be a couple of 

        girls who would not hesitate to mount him. Granted women can be 

        stupid but nature has programmed women to go for the strongest or 

        most elegant genetic link. 

      These are just 3 of his 5 observations. If you want to read more of it, you can visit his article. That article could help you understand women even for a little. But I think being sensitive enough could even lead you understanding women better.

       Given the fact that women are really difficult to decipher, we man should take time understanding them even doing it really takes a lot of time. But considering it would develop and strengthen the relationship you have or you want to have. Just a simple ways could mean a lot to them. It takes a life time but its worth will never last.  

Nice Guy Syndrome

   For the past weeks, I had learned that nice guys are much putted to friendzone than those who are assholes and bastard guys. In fact when you look around, there is a number of friendzoned nice guys out there. I bet many of you know a nice guy that was lamented into the entitlement of friendzone. But do know some body who is a jerk that was putted into dreadful platonic relationship?  What is with these nice guys that make them friendzoned over and over.

    So often, we associated nice guy image as figures of pity, victims of shyness while some find it as creepy hell. As I am surfing around the internet, I came across an article entitled "The Nice Guys and Friend zone". Jonathan wrote an excellent piece on the matter, addressing nice guys. There are several things that i'd like to expand more. However, you should read the whole thing.


     2) Are You Being A Hypocrite?
          This is one of the problem with those nice guys out there. Some are  
          just pretending to be as nice as they could. They do everything to like   
          nice. Giving you something that make them look that they are  
          thoughtful, doing something something heroic that would make them 
          look 'knight in shining armor' but the real thing is just, they are doing 
          all of those just to win the girl that they desire and to make them laid.

      6) You May Not Actually Be That Nice After All
          Are you really that nice? You are complaining when the girl refuses you
          and you never told her how you feel. You keep on showing her nice 
          things; and yet, listing all of these on your mind, expecting that she 
          would return the favor back. Is that nice?


    To some women, the honesty of a guy is more important than the traits that they possesses. They would rather pick those idiot jerks than to live into the world of lies.  Women don’t only exist to date or have sex with you. As someone else in the vast feminist blogosphere once said, women are not machines that you put friendship tokens into until sex falls out. If you can't handle that simple fact, you probably aren't ready to date anyone.  

Just Friends

Probably everyone has heard the term friend zone- even they don't know the word, it seems that everyone is familiar in the concept. Friend zoned is the term given for those guys who are treated as a friend or a younger brother despite of their obvious affection on woman that they want. It seems like it is a terrible curse to obtain that pathetic title, "Mr. Friend Zoned ".

      Recently, it become a vibrant and meme word in many communities in the world wide web.  As I Browse and observe around, I figured out that this term is more commonly used by men. I took some time formulating a hypothesis on what's the reason behind.

I was looking for an answer when I found the article " The Truth Behind the Friend Zone". Dr. April Bleske-Rechek, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin, published her findings in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships after inviting students to come to her lab with a friend of the opposite sex and answer questions about each other. The questions asked them about how attractive they found their friend, whether they would consider dating their friend and also how attracted they felt their friend was to him (or her).

First they discovered that the guys were all attracted to their female friends more than the women were attracted to them. This is consistent with the portrayals we see in the media – think Friends and Ross being more attracted to Rachel than she was to him and Jacob’s attraction to Bella in Twilight. Interestingly, both men and women were more attracted to their friend when they thought their friend was attracted to them – but it would appear that hardly any men think: ‘Wow! I bet she’d be a great person to just hang out with’ as women have always suspected.

They also discovered that the men’s attraction to their female friends didn’t change with relationship status – either his or theirs. But for the women, if their male friend was in a relationship they found him less attractive and when in a relationship themselves, all women were significantly less interested in the prospect of dating their ‘friend’.

The last part of the findings are perhaps the most significant of all. It was discovered that men consistently over-estimated their female friend’s attraction and desire to possibly date them while the women consistently underestimated their male friend’s attraction to them but accurately gauged their desire to date them! So, if you’re a woman in the Friend Zone your ‘vibe’ about whether your male friend wants to date you or not is probably correct. If you’re not in a relationship you could do worse than a quick inventory of your single male friends because it’s likely they consider you attractive and want to date you. Remember the study showed women consistently underestimate how attractive their male friends find them. Guys, your female friends most likely just want to be friends. End of story.     

One problem regarding this matter is that males overestimated female friend’s interest , while females underestimated their male friend’s attraction but accurately gauged the male friend’s desire to date them. Most guys ended up stuck in friend zone because most of the time, they prospect their female friends as a dating partner which women doesn't have in mind. This is a serious problem. That could be the reason why many men has trapped in such platonic relationship. For the reason that, They are very assuming. 

Height: It Does Matter

    In my eighteen years of existence, I observed that men are taller than women in most couples. In fact when you look at the couples around you, same scenario would be seen. It is really interesting how woman use height as a preference on looking for their mates. What is the reason woman prefer taller man? Is it just as simple as taller is better?

   As I had saw in Wikipedia, Recent studies have shown that heterosexual women often prefer men taller than they are, rather than a man with above average height. While women usually desire men to be at least the same height as themselves or taller, several other factors also determine male attractiveness, and the male-taller norm is not universal. Professor Adam Eyre-Walker, from the University of Sussex, has stated that there is, as yet, no evidence that these preferences are evolutionary preferences, as opposed to merely cultural preferences. In a double-blind study by Graziano et al., it was found that, in person, using a sample of women of normal size, they were on average most attracted to men who were of medium height (5'9"- 5'11") and less attracted to both men of shorter height (5'5"- 5'7") and men of tallest height (6'2"- 6'4").

   I was studying on woman's height preference when I came across an article called, " Why Do Women All Seem to Want Taller Men? " Erina Lee mentioned in his article that men are being taller on average than woman. From these we might expect that most women end up with taller men just by chance. However, Erina said that researcher found that of the 720 couples in their study, only one was comprised of a taller woman and a shorter man (Gillis & Avis, 1980).  This was a far smaller percentage than expected by chance, showing that there is some selective preference for taller men.  

   I agree with Erina when she said that Culture also plays a big part in what we like and what is valued in society.Women may learn to value men who are rewarded in society.  For example, taller men may be seen as more powerful and attractive, so women who are with taller men benefit by attaining a higher social status.  In addition, if height signals physical dominance, it is likely that taller men make women feel smaller, protected, and perhaps more “feminine” as well.  In line with this idea, research has found that women with more “traditional” gender role expectations were less willing to date shorter men.

    Erina also noted that height is a “masculine” characteristic.  Taller men may be seen as more dominant and assertive (Melamed, 1992).  In evolutionary terms, a larger man may have been able to provide more protection to their offspring, have greater genetic qualities to pass on to their future children, and thus may be awarded with greater social status.  

  In general, women are attracted to taller men because of the stereotype established by the society. They preferred men taller than them to become more pleasing to the eye of the society.  In the other hand, most woman feel that they were more protected in the arms of taller man. To sum it all, woman prefer a man where she could be proud of and a man who could able to give her protection.

Ovulation Period Affects Woman's Preferences

     Woman's behavior are not easy to decipher. They are very unpredictable especially on those times that they have their monthly visit; It's kind a weird. It made me really difficult to understand what they want. They are like typical mothers who are very moody those days. Sometimes, they're more patient but most of the time they're quick tempered during their ovulation period.

    For those of you who are unaware, a normal menstrual cycle lasts for about 28 days. Ovulation begins in the middle of this cycle, usually about 14 days after menstruation, and lasts until the beginning of the next menstruation.

    As I continued searching about this matter, I came across an article called "Ovulation Changes Women's Behavior". According to Emily Sohn,studies began to show that in the days before ovulation women start to become more attracted to men who have deeper voices and more chiseled, masculine and symmetrical faces. According to some studies, that may be because men who look like George Clooney are more likely to have dominant social roles, better genes and stronger immune systems. 

    Female preferences for male traits fluctuate according to the menstrual cycle. These traits include masculine facial structure, facial skin color, body odors, and voice pitch . Furthermore, female preferences in male behavior, such as social dominance, also fluctuate according to the researches of Steven W. Gangestad. These studies find that women prefer masculine men at their periods of peak fertility during their menstrual cycles.

    Their are several ways to determine whether women are in ovulating period. In one study, scientists have found that ovulating women sway their hips more while walking, though they hold their upper bodies in a more defensive position. Fertile women also show more skin, and they are more interested in going to social gatherings.    

    In addition to changes in looks and smells, Bryant and colleagues have measured a subtle but detectable shift upwards in the pitch of a woman's voice when she's approaching ovulation. Her voice reaches its highest pitch on the day before and the day of the egg's release. Now, he's trying to figure out if a higher pitched voice is indeed more attractive to men.

    Ovulation changes the woman's behavior and kind of men she attracted to. According to researcher, their preferences towards dating men changes during this period. So, knowing how ovulation affects woman could help you depict their behavior. You should be aware of this period to understand their preferences in man deeply.

The Unlocking: The Secret Key to Flirtation

     A lot of men got troubled with the basic concept of flirting. Some men might think that flirting is about quoting those cheesy lines like – If you gave me penny for my thoughts, I’d have just one penny, because I only think about one thing and that’s you. – I tell you my friend, that would not help you get your girl. Believe it or not, It may only worsen the situation.

    flirting is simply another way that two people can closely interact with each other. It can be as simple smile, it depends on your goal when you flirt with someone of interest to you. There are many possible reasons why people flirt. One of these is to show that you are interested in getting to know them better.But one of the most important aspect of flirting is the intention behind it.

   Understanding the concept of flirting might be essential for men. So i looked over the internet and found the article - The Art Of Flirting (And How To Do It). Christian, the writer of the article itself, stated that "The main problem guys have with flirting is that they relate it directly to sex. If I flirt with the girl for long enough, she's more likely to have sex with me. Women, on the other hand, view flirting as nothing more than some harmless fun with no determined end-game." Christian added, " Understanding the brain's response to flirting should help us to engage with women on their level, rather than as a covert operation to get naked with her!" Here are some of his ideas for flirting successfully without coming across like a sex-crazed lunatic:

    Keep contact to a minimum.  In previous blogs, you have learned that body contact is a very powerful weapon in the flirting world. According to James B, you should use it with caution; because if you over do it, you'll appear overbearing and creepy.  

    Avoid over-confidence. Confidence is what most women find in men. Confidence Can make you look more exciting and more interesting.   But don't you know that confidence could make or destroy your moves? Too much self-confidence could turn off women so avoid being over-confident.     

    Don't play it too cool.  Woman wants to be heard more than to listen on your lingering fables. So instead of inflicting your self trying to be cool to her, take your time to know her by listening to her stories.

      These are only three of his ideas on key to a successful flirting. If you want to read more about this matter, you can check out the article above written by christian.

      Knowing how to flirt properly may lead to a romantic relationship. It is really magical. It is like a potion that can attract woman's desire for you. However there is always a risk in dealing with girls. It mustn't be too much because it may lead to over bearing feeling. In the other hand, it mustn't be too light because your target might now receive your message. Everything must be in balance and under control.

     Practicing the proper flirtation manner may build your confidence that could attract more women. However, you should be responsible in every action that you make because it may build or destroy your personality. So be careful in using this key. 

   

Bad boys Vs. Nice Guys

Why do girls always prefer the distant, aloof, handsome, dangerous dudes instead of cheerful chaps like me?

— Roger Ebert, Twilight review.

        Who can ever forget Dwayne Johnson known as the rock, the most popular James Bond, and Robin Padilla - the "bad boy" of Philippine cinema. All of them are bunch of jerks yet they are also magnet of gorgeous, hot leading ladies. Yes, all of them posses a bad boy image and muscular physique, but what is with these guys that made them magnet of hot ladies?

        It's not only in the film bad boy look more awesome than good guys. In fact i know some woman who always go for asshole and end up crying in the shoulders of their nice guy friends who are always there for them yet never given a chance to display their affection. what a world totally abundant of friend zoned guys !

        I was surfing the internet a while a go when I check out the article entitled "Why do women like jerks and bad boys?" . Dan Bacon mentioned that, In most cases, the type of guy who is considered a “nice guy” will be less confident and masculine than a bad boy or jerk. A “nice guy” is usually a nervous, anxious type who assumes that by being really nice, a woman will think, “Wow, he's so nice. I think he would be a good boyfriend!” and then choose him. He'll be as nice and friendly and possible and wait for the woman to show that she is interested in him. Then, he'll tell her his feelings and she will reject him.  

     Well, I have a theory on this, Women doesn't like those bunches of jerks for their self alone.  Instead, it is the confidence of those assholes who attracts those gorgeous and loving women. Their confidence is the one who makes them look more exciting and more interesting. And I guess, if all those nice guys will gain more confidence for themselves, there will be no room for girls to put them into the platonic and most common cause of death-  The Friend Zone. 

  

Mr. Perfect and Ms. Perfectly Imperfect

             Hearing the word "Mr Perfect" could sound very annoying for men. It sounds like a fancy prince charming or a knight in shining armor on an old fairy tale from your childhood. Hence if you name any woman in the world, all them are looking for a Mr. Perfect; An ideal man who can stay with her forever. But what are the characteristics that makes man perfect in the eyes of a woman?

           Woman of today are becoming more unrealistic and materialistic. They set a very high expectations in electing a partner for themselves. I was surfing the internet when I saw a statement from Must-have qualities in men to be Mr. Perfect. Gunjan Jain, a writer, said "Gone are the days when women looked for some 'real' qualities in men like chivalry, intelligence, independence, reliability, etc. Sadly the women of today just look for men with the best jobs, the biggest bank accounts or the most fashionable zip codes. Ask them about their dream man and their answer has to be someone like Chuck Bass (the rich bad boy of Gossip Girl). Talk about being materialistic and unrealistic!".

        A distressful truth, Woman nowadays are more demanding when it come on entering relationships. Even though every woman is different from each other, most of them focus on physical attributes. These is a negative perception for men which may lead to insecurities and inferiorities to man.
    

Friend Zone: Always Better

                There are three zones in life that most men evade. The danger zone, no smoking zone and most especially, the malediction of FRIEND ZONE . I'm talking about the platonic relationship so called friend zone. I was 9gagging few months ago, when i found out that most of men consider friend zone as the worst scenario when it comes with courting. As a mater of fact, they consider it as game over. Some of you might say “absolutely correct!” with a convictional voice. But I have a bit different point of view with regards to friend zone.   


           Today, I was reading some popular articles about platonic relationship and came across one called  - "HowTo Keep A Guy From Putting You in the “Friend Zone".   James B mentioned that guys have it tougher when it comes to dating. Generally speaking, women expect us to take the lead, break the ice and do the pursuing. Well at the firsthand, it is our nature to initiate the first move.

James forewarned that once you’ve crossed over into that dreaded territory, it’ll be damn hard to convince your platonic friend to have romantic feelings for you.But don’t get frighten my friend, I just have a solution .  I was reading on the forums a while ago, when I headed the article - The "Friend Zone", and How to Avoid It - and found some tips on how to avoid being in trapped by friend zone. Here are some of them written by Trace Wilson:

1. Flirt it up -- Try to subtly let the person you want to date know that you would like to be more than friends. If you keep the friend mentality and don't let them know, you have a higher chance of ending up in the friend zone. However, if you do your best to flirt and make it clear you want more in the relationship, you have a higher chance of getting just that.

2. Go on actual dates -- There are many activities you can do with the person you like that let them know you want to date them. There are also activities that just scream friendship, so try to stay away from them. I would suggest things like seeing a movie, going to dinner (just the two of you, not in a group), and taking a day trip to a place like the beach.

3. Attitude counts! -- Make sure that the way you act and talk reflects the way you feel about that person. If you want more than friendship, don't act like you're their best friend, instead act like you want a genuine intimate relationship with them!

            Being in friend zone state is not worst at all. Infact, friend zone is better than stranger zone. Engaging in a platonic relationship doesn’t mean that you are always a friend zone. Time could develop the relationship that you have. Remember Bokbok and poknat on a Filipino primetime soap opera? Friend zone might be the first step on the ladder of success. It could enable you to know the girl of your dreams better. Same with her. And if not, look for another girl. There are many fish in the sea. Just remember that there is always an opportunity for those who believe. Just like James mentioned, Dating isn’t a matter of life or death! If you fell, then stood up! Find someone again. And repeat the cycle my friend! Good luck!